Mr. Amazing

Who knew that one could ride in

With roses in hand

And make my heart stop for a moment

To make the day a bit brighter

And make the fear pass away

Like a distant memory…

You truly are Mr. Amazing

The one who stole my heart

And keeps it safe next to your own

You’ll never see just who you are to me

Never know how much

I adore the moments when you’re near

And in so many ways

I can’t believe you’re mine

I don’t know what I would be

Without you in my life.

Shattered Bonds

If telling the truth
Means breaking bonds
That were meant to last a lifetime
Then the concept and trueness of love
Never existed in the first place.
If words can mean so little
Was there anything to salvage
From the start of this journey
Perhaps I was mistaken
In my idea of family
And what it should be truly
Perhaps I was naive enough
To think that sharing my feelings
Would actually have made it different
But deep inside I knew
There was no bond to save
No relationship worth rescuing
And thus we part ways
On two separate paths
When only one was intended.
I will not take back my words
Nor will I sacrifice my stance
Because for once
I know I'm right and just
And your footing is in the sand
And just so, it falters beneath your feet
Just as does your misconception
Of love and family
Two ideas that you construe
To suit your own needs
Rather than embracing them
For the beautiful things they really are.

Final Goodbye

I'm done with all the drama
The manipulation and crocodile tears
Finished with being put last
And never thought of as important.
I will not concede my stand
I'm through with trying to please
Because I finally know in every way
That it will never be enough for you.
What you've tried to ruin
I will salvage with my own bare hands
And what you've lost
Is more than you could ever fathom.
You made this choice, chose this path
And I will not stop you
I have turned my back to you
And if you want anything more
You can always ask
But I daresay that you will ever receive.
So bring yourself to this conclusion;
You have lost everything and more
I will have nothing more to do with you
I've written you off for now and always
It's time for you to know
The true meaning of the word goodbye.

(Untitled)

I couldn’t tell you if you asked

What I miss the most when you’re not here

It could be the smell of you after a long day

The softness of your hair beneath my hand

Or even the depth I see in your brown eyes

Each and every one of these things

I hold dear to me when you’re gone.

It’s the familiar that I miss the most

Of having you physically present

Just near enough to me so that I feel complete

Feel safe and like the world is right.

Each and every thing I fell in love with about you

I miss more and more each time you’re gone

This bond between us is deep and substantial

It’s almost surreal how wonderful it is

I can’t believe I’m so blessed to have you

And you can’t understand the depth my love for you

How much I miss you when you’re not here

And how much I truly do need you

As a part of my life.

Cherishing Your Memory

Time goes by and the leaves fall
Summer to autumn to winter
The frost begins and slowly conquers
A harvested feild before it's blanketed by snow.
There's something in the air that makes me
Miss you just a little bit more
Perhaps it's the thought of halloween bonfires
And trying to find one more trip
Out on the cooling waters of the lakes
But there's something there that makes me think
About all the time we spent together
And the moment that I will always miss.
I know you are there always, guiding me
And that I have never stopped loving you nor you me
But I think of what it would have been like
Had you not been stolen away from me so early
About seeing your grandchildren
And showing them the wonderful and kind
Gentle giant of a man that you were.
I keep you close to my heart in this season
The season of warm family and friends
Of parties and holiday celebrations
Because even though you aren't physically here
I know that you are always with me
Because you are a part of me
And I cherish your memory within my heart.
Know that you are loved and missed
More than words could ever express
And I know one thing more,
That in time, I will see you once again
And without wishing my life away
I look forward to that day.

Miss You

It doesn't feel right sitting here alone
Cooking for one is depressing
You have no idea how I long to
Test my head against your chest
And have your arm around me
Making me safe and warm.
Being apart makes me realize the depth
Of this eternal bond that we share.
My heart no longer beats as my own
But rather in sync with yours
And you are all I need with me.
Forget the comforts and luxuries
All I need is to be close to you
And that's all I ever will.
I think about your smile
And how our children will one day
Bear your same qualities that I adore
All the things that I see coming for us
Make me realize how much
We have in one another.
But without you here to share these thoughts,
I hold them in my heart
To make the distance between us
Appear just a little smaller
But I can't wait for you to return.
I shall give you a kiss for every moment
An 'I love you' for each hour
But I owe you so much more
For making me whole
And bringing light back into my heart.

Autumn

The smell of leaves
Decaying and crumbling on the ground
An intoxicating aroma
Filling every sense of myself
And turning me into an addict of the fall.
Scents of warm spices and warm drinks
Shared with friends and family
Bundled up in light jackets
Surrounded by the soft glow of candles
Lighting pumpkins with strewn faces
And cornucopias of plenty.
Horse drawn wagons filled with straw
Being pulled across darkened apple orchards
This is what fall is about
The moments of time
Surrounded in bold colors and warm glows
Of sun gleaming through trees
Shedding the leaves of growth
To make a blanket for the upcoming snow
And shelter the earth from the bitter winter
This is the season
This is the time of year
For hearts to glow and warm the soul
An amazing reflection of the days gone by
And the warmness of the days
Which are to come.

How Deep My Love

My love,
Do you see
How your doe eyes
Light up my smile
Make my fear melt
And are all
I ever want to see
For the rest
Of my life...
I don't think you know
Just how handsome
You really are
And how my love
For who you are
Inside and out
Will never ever fade
I love you
Is never enough
I will show you
Forever
Just how deep
You are
A part of my soul.

Promise Me

Promise me that your eyes will never wander
Your heart will never stray
That you will always be my cherished one
Loyal to our lives together and our commitment for forever.
Think of no one else as you would of me
I've given you my all
Just as it was meant to be.
In you I've found part of my soul
My life is whole and complete
I never want to lose this feeling of being whole
Bonded in ways I never assumed were possible
This is not to say I'm scared
Merely quite the thought
That I've given everything away
To be your one and only.
I do not need the world
Nor diamonds and roses received
Just promise me you'll always be
Just the one for me,
Loyal and true
And I promise that I'm yours until
The very last breath I have
Always and forever.
Just promise me you
And that's all I will ever need.

Lingering Thoughts

I don't know why it lingers
But there's still something there in the back of my head
This fear shouldn't be there
With the time that's passed
With the decisions I've conciously made
But age old fears are long to die
Making my mind run away with me
Thinking thoughts I wish were dead
But there they are, lingering
Swirlling around in my head.

Finished

I could have been better
I could have been more
Had you not decided to quell me
Had you not chosen to take my dreams
I could have soared among the clouds
I could have but I didn't
My visions were made dim
Things were lost that I can never regain
But it's partly my fault too
Because I allowed it
When I never should have.

Things are different now
Though you don't see the tide has changed
You don't see the new birth
What blindness there is in your eyes
Blinded by anger and selfishness
You stumble through life
With no concept of others
Only of yourself
Play the pity party one last time
Because that's all that
You are going to get from me
One last word
One last moment in which you can speak
Before I silence everything.

Cutting the false bond
Never felt so right before
Not like it does now
It was long overdue
But came just at the right moment
It's time for you to know your place
To choke on words
You once used to hurt
And swallow the poison that you
Fed me all of my life
But here's the catch
This is all your own
It's based in truth
And is even harder to swallow
Like razor blades
And deep inside
I hope it cuts the same.

Running Free

I'm finished with being held down
Being grasped by invisible chains
Bearing down on my potential and future
I've broken free from their iron grip
Begun to stretch my wings
I know in my heart that I remember how to fly
Someone taught me once
And I'm not afraid to do it again
I'm not afraid of falling
Because there's always someone to catch me
I will not let myself be held down
I shall not be captured again
Without my permission
I'm done living with fear in my heart
Done with the pain of thinking 'what-if'
It's time to take the plunge
To do what I know that I can
Time to break free
And run wildly through life
Without any notion of where I'm going
Because now, I'll never be alone

Endless Possibilities

Your hand, resting upon mine in the darkness of the bedroom
Warm and soft - makes me feel like I am safe
I know that I am home when I can hear you breathe
And watch the rise and fall of your chest in the soft light
Filtering through the windows and dusting across the covers
I never realized there would be more than before
The depth of the bond that was created when I gave you everything
I never realized that this is where I would always want to be
And that it is simply not a temporary feeling.
Next to you, I feel is just where I belong
It has become my place in this world and feels right
I've taken on a new role as a wife, a partner and a lover
In ways and depths that I never thought were even possible.
It makes me wonder of the things that are to come
And the ways that my life will change
The moments that we'll share as husband and wife
As father and mother, as even more than that
There are endless possibilities to what we have
And I will keep them and hold them close to my heart
Each and every one, even though my thoughts
Cannot encompass them all.

Strangers

We are strangers, you and I
Supposed to share a bond deeper than love
We walk this world as strangers
I've been given more by those who once were strangers
Treated better by an unknown person on the street
When I am supposed to feel this connection to you
And call you a name which is held for those dear
I cannot fathom giving that to you or sharing it with you
You do not even know me, what's important to me
You have no idea what goes on in my daily life
Or even care to see what goes on under the surface
You hide behind your selfishness so as not to expose
The empty windows of your soul
The broken panes of glass that have been shattered by bitterness
And swept away with anger
I do no know you, I do not care to anymore
I gave you everything you asked
You are a stranger to me and that's all you'll ever be
And even that - is more than you deserve.

For @hidingout2

Getting thinner, going stronger, going harder
More than what you thought you could
More than you ever knew that you would have to
Your heart is on your sleeve
Beating hard and strong for those around you
But you wear yourself thin taking care of everyone.
Take a moment and breathe, beautiful:
Know that this is just a passing time
And you will come through - stronger, better
It's a hard weight on your shoulders
Just remember that you are never alone
There is warmth in the sunshine
Just as there is warmth in a stranger's smile
Your beautiful heart beats for everyone you care for
It's big and open, bearing so much burden
Know that you will make it through and you can do this
No matter how many times you think you can't...
Beleive in yourself
More importantly...take care of yourself
Remember to breathe a little each day
Crack a smile when it doesn't seem possible
And savor the little moments of comfort
No matter how briefly they are there
Look into the mirror and see strength and love
A woman whose hands have done only good and cared for the world
See the resolve behind your eyes and know that you can...
It seems like so much upon you right now
But just remember, you are never alone - never.

Band

A small weight with lots of meaning
Always subconciously remembered and ever there
It rests so sofly upon the skin
Shining, glimmering in the light
Much like the amount of importance of what is symbolizes
An ever unbroken circle, never ending
It is a reflection of love and commitment
Of a deep seated bond made from two hearts becoming one
It rests there, ever present as a memorial
To promises and entrustments placed with another
What's behind it matters, what it encircles matters
Everything it symbolizes matters
It is more than just a band, so much more.

The Berth of Commitment - Forever

Just for this moment
I can see why they couldn't explain it
Why there was so much that I was missing
But didn't know how to describe it.
This bond, this love
Has taken hold of all I am
And changed everything for good
In ways that you can only see
With the eyes of maturity
That comes with making the commitment
Of marriage and togetherness.
What does anything else matter?
Two now one, stronger than before
More than before and yet the same heart
I could dance in his eyes forever
Let his laugh linger in my heart
Like a symphony of joy
That's what I plan to do
Forever and always
This is the journey
This is the path
This is our marriage
And I for one, cannot wait
To see what doors will be opened
And what things there are
Yet to come.