A Child Again

My chest is heavy

I feel eleven again

But this time

There are no weekend visits

No birthday cards

No more recitals

For you to miss.

This pain is great

I search for your smile

But I can't find it

For your voice

But I can't hear it.

You're gone for good

I miss you more and more

There are no more calls

Or conversations

No more hugs

Or being there when I rebound.

How can I go on?

You were always there

To help me on my way.

Why Daddy?

Why Daddy?

Why did you leave me?

Why won't you be there

To walk me down the aisle?

Why won't you be there

To see me bear a child?

Where did you have to go

And why did you have to leave?

Why did God take you

And leave me alone?

I see you everywhere

In the snow

In the river

In the sunlight

But I can't hear you anymore---

Why Daddy

Did you have to die?

What purpose did it serve?

I know you're out of pain

But mine seems

More than I can bear---

Why Daddy?

Why can't I tell you

I love you

One more time

And hear you say it back?

Why only 23 years

Why not one more?

Why is all I feel left with

Is the pain...

Sleeping Without You

In the dark of night
When the silence speaks loudest
I search for you
The warm glow of your smile in my memory
Pacifies my heart and lulls me back to sleep
Even when I can’t curl up next to you
And count your heartbeats
Until I fall back to sleep.

Had I Words

Had I the words of Solomon
I would write you songs
Of my undying devotion
Praising your every features.
I would laud your every talent
And mourn your sadness
Rejoice in your pleasures
Bask in your laughter –
But I have naught this gift
To highlight all you are.

Could the words of Keats
Do you more justice?
Would his odes be more
Suitable to your honor
Your strength, integrity
Or would those words
Still fall short of capturing
The utter brilliance of you
Or the sweetness
That pours out of your soul?

Had I these words
Could I even use them correctly?
Would I be able to tell
That your eyes shine
Like polished onyx in the sun
Or that your smile glows
More brightly than that of a raging fire?
No, my words, I fear
Would not come close
But my love says it all.

Biblical Woman

I don’t want to be your Delilah
Your undoing point
Praying upon your weaknesses
Using you like a toy
For my own gain.

I don’t want to be your Jezebel
Corrupting your kingdom
Oozing cruelty like water
And changing the world
You have created.

I want to be your Ruth
Willing to lay at your feet
Ready to serve
And prepared to walk with you
On your chosen path.