Unspoken Thoughts

I want to rid myself of these lingering
Shadows of doubt that fill my mind
The questions in my heart
And move on from this place
I don't know what I am doing here again
I wish I did because I want to fix it
Why can't I just trust blindly?
Why do I have issues?
The nagging feeling inside me won't rest
It needs to, I need it to...
I wish I felt more secure
It just doesn't feel right
Something feels wrong
My heart returns to words once said
While my mind contemplates others
I don't see a solution
For my inner problem
And that's just it,
It is my problem
An inner problem and puzzlement

Is it because I'm safe
That I will always be there?
Is it because I'm stupid
And will never question?
Is it because of me
And who I've become?
I don't have any answers
I don't even know if I wish I did...
I guess it doesn't matter
Because that's the way it goes
In the long run
Will these thoughts really matter?
I don't know what I need
May some solace from myself
Part of me wants to run away
Part of me wants to not think anymore
And yet another part of me
Just wants to leave well enough alone
And just let things remain the same
There's so many possible ways
None of them are options right now
None of them will quell what is within me
But I have to find some way to
Or else I will delve deeper
Into the darkness that I question
Or endanger what I have
And hold the closest.