Spring

Buds are finally gracing tree limbs
And the sounds of birds are here once again
The cold still nips at your heels
But the sun grows warmer with each day
Thawing ground and vanishing snowbanks
Reveal grass that's ready to grow again
The fever is in the air
And it's only just the beginning of spring.

Bitter Enclosure

Do you ever have those day
Where it seems like curling up in a ball
And sobbing is something you think you need
To feel so trapped inside a box
Frustrated that there's no way out
Putting forth effort with minimal results?
This is my day, sometimes my life
I wish there were a key to this prison.

Summer Skies

The night becomes younger
As the daylight grows older
Summer invades Spring
Scorching swiftly with oppressive heat
Sunny skies give way to
Dark clouds and clapping thunder
With scattered bolts
Illuminating the dark sky
And even without the storm
The night grows brighter
With lighter shades
Offset by white blotchy clouds
Stars seem to shine
As is this were their season
To bathe the Earth
With ancient splendor.

Icing

It's raining ice
A subtle reflection of my mood
Falling and striking down
Melting where it lands
Melting cold
Unlike the hot tears
That have flowed this morning
The detraction isn't enough
To note all that much difference
The rain has been hurt
Turned to ice
By the clouds that once
Held it safe.

Can You See the Stars?

I hope that wherever you are
You can see the stars as plainly as I
How brightly the belt of Orion stretches
Out across the sky
And Venus shines brightly down
Eclipsing the light of the north star.
I hope that you feel the same peace I do
Knowing that only time separates us
And one day we will see each other again
Walking hand in hand down the aisles of the stars
Like we were meant to here on earth.

Fade

Time fades the leaves to a soft brown
And the sun bleaches out the grass
To make way for the distance of winter
Greens gives way to shades of red and amber
Rain to snow and warmth to cold
Each it's own master of a season
A change, a fade from one to the other.

Sleepy Live Ode

When silence falls on darkened eyes
Memories of warmth in moonlight
Pervade the sleeping mind
Of shallow breaths and long kisses
Once partaken like forbidden ambrosia
In secret by a lake calm beneath the stars.

As the eyelids droop moments become dreams
Invading the subconscious with love and life
Deepening connection and bond
That already runs deep into the soul
And peace descends like snow
Falling gently on sleepy hearts of old.

Oh! To when love turns to memory
And fades from life to dreams
Caused by distance of two hearts
Bound by more than romance, sewn as one
But now to sleep and in dreams reunite
Until arms clench the breast of love once more.

Untitled

I'm going to miss you
More than I let on
Because I have to pretend
It's just another day
My world is complete
Though it's like living a lie
Because nothing is the same
Without you here with me.
It's just temporary
That I realize
But it feels so wrong
Going to an empty bed
To retire from an absent day...
But stoically I will face this time
Until it ends
Small sacrifices for great years ahead.

Hollow Woman

Hollow circles beneath your eyes
Show the lack of depth behind them
The sleepless nights spent alone
And fake smiles to hide the pain
You think no one sees your sneers of jealousy
The false bravado of superiority you put forth
Is just a mask to hide the emptiness
You think no one sees
You think no one knows
Because you've done it so long
That you want to beleive
The only one you're fooling is yourself
Your disguise falls like shattered glass around you
Reflecting like mirrors the faults
You so desperately try to hide
The empty moments that pervade your existence
And the envy you feel for those who do live
They tell the truth
Even though your lips refuse to speak it
Your lonely existence is your fault alone
Hold not another in consequence for your failure
We are the masters of our own destiny,
Clearly you have chosen yours.

Their Empty Words

They promised
Sunshine and rainbows
When we've learned
The true reality
Is bruises and scars
A deep pain that sees no sun
A burden of sorrow.

They said
Those around you
Will be your strength and life
But all they taught us
Is loss and heartache
Turning face in a moment
And collapsing hope
With harsh words that cut deep.

They fill your head
With illusions and dreams
Only to see them dashed
And broken by the bitter reality
We face every day
That steals out hope
And makes our spirits weak.

They told us all these things
We wanted to believe
But we knew better
We never promised anything
To one another
Only moving forward
With a bond called love
And holding each other up
On the strength within our hearts.

Before You Wake

Before you wake up in the morning
I want you to know that I didn't miss
The tenderness in your voice as you left
Or the thoughtfulness you showed
By just doing the little things
Like forks...
It's good for you to have a break
Some freedom from this undertaking
But I know you don't see it that way.
Know that I will always be okay
Always be safe and careful
Loving you from wherever I am
To wherever you are
And that that will never change.
I never knew how lost without you
I could ever be
But I do now
But it's okay -
I know where your heart calls home...

True Reflections

Never a smile
Always a curt
Straight mouthed sign
Of disappointed bitterness.
I hope you see the mirror
The glass you've so often
Tried to shatter with your coldness
Because it still reflects the truth
As it always will
That deep inside
You are hollow
You care for naught
And all things are clear
Because your own mask
Can't even hide
The empty soul
That resides within.

Mr. Amazing

Who knew that one could ride in

With roses in hand

And make my heart stop for a moment

To make the day a bit brighter

And make the fear pass away

Like a distant memory…

You truly are Mr. Amazing

The one who stole my heart

And keeps it safe next to your own

You’ll never see just who you are to me

Never know how much

I adore the moments when you’re near

And in so many ways

I can’t believe you’re mine

I don’t know what I would be

Without you in my life.

(Untitled)

I couldn’t tell you if you asked

What I miss the most when you’re not here

It could be the smell of you after a long day

The softness of your hair beneath my hand

Or even the depth I see in your brown eyes

Each and every one of these things

I hold dear to me when you’re gone.

It’s the familiar that I miss the most

Of having you physically present

Just near enough to me so that I feel complete

Feel safe and like the world is right.

Each and every thing I fell in love with about you

I miss more and more each time you’re gone

This bond between us is deep and substantial

It’s almost surreal how wonderful it is

I can’t believe I’m so blessed to have you

And you can’t understand the depth my love for you

How much I miss you when you’re not here

And how much I truly do need you

As a part of my life.

Cherishing Your Memory

Time goes by and the leaves fall
Summer to autumn to winter
The frost begins and slowly conquers
A harvested feild before it's blanketed by snow.
There's something in the air that makes me
Miss you just a little bit more
Perhaps it's the thought of halloween bonfires
And trying to find one more trip
Out on the cooling waters of the lakes
But there's something there that makes me think
About all the time we spent together
And the moment that I will always miss.
I know you are there always, guiding me
And that I have never stopped loving you nor you me
But I think of what it would have been like
Had you not been stolen away from me so early
About seeing your grandchildren
And showing them the wonderful and kind
Gentle giant of a man that you were.
I keep you close to my heart in this season
The season of warm family and friends
Of parties and holiday celebrations
Because even though you aren't physically here
I know that you are always with me
Because you are a part of me
And I cherish your memory within my heart.
Know that you are loved and missed
More than words could ever express
And I know one thing more,
That in time, I will see you once again
And without wishing my life away
I look forward to that day.

Autumn

The smell of leaves
Decaying and crumbling on the ground
An intoxicating aroma
Filling every sense of myself
And turning me into an addict of the fall.
Scents of warm spices and warm drinks
Shared with friends and family
Bundled up in light jackets
Surrounded by the soft glow of candles
Lighting pumpkins with strewn faces
And cornucopias of plenty.
Horse drawn wagons filled with straw
Being pulled across darkened apple orchards
This is what fall is about
The moments of time
Surrounded in bold colors and warm glows
Of sun gleaming through trees
Shedding the leaves of growth
To make a blanket for the upcoming snow
And shelter the earth from the bitter winter
This is the season
This is the time of year
For hearts to glow and warm the soul
An amazing reflection of the days gone by
And the warmness of the days
Which are to come.

How Deep My Love

My love,
Do you see
How your doe eyes
Light up my smile
Make my fear melt
And are all
I ever want to see
For the rest
Of my life...
I don't think you know
Just how handsome
You really are
And how my love
For who you are
Inside and out
Will never ever fade
I love you
Is never enough
I will show you
Forever
Just how deep
You are
A part of my soul.

Lingering Thoughts

I don't know why it lingers
But there's still something there in the back of my head
This fear shouldn't be there
With the time that's passed
With the decisions I've conciously made
But age old fears are long to die
Making my mind run away with me
Thinking thoughts I wish were dead
But there they are, lingering
Swirlling around in my head.

Finished

I could have been better
I could have been more
Had you not decided to quell me
Had you not chosen to take my dreams
I could have soared among the clouds
I could have but I didn't
My visions were made dim
Things were lost that I can never regain
But it's partly my fault too
Because I allowed it
When I never should have.

Things are different now
Though you don't see the tide has changed
You don't see the new birth
What blindness there is in your eyes
Blinded by anger and selfishness
You stumble through life
With no concept of others
Only of yourself
Play the pity party one last time
Because that's all that
You are going to get from me
One last word
One last moment in which you can speak
Before I silence everything.

Cutting the false bond
Never felt so right before
Not like it does now
It was long overdue
But came just at the right moment
It's time for you to know your place
To choke on words
You once used to hurt
And swallow the poison that you
Fed me all of my life
But here's the catch
This is all your own
It's based in truth
And is even harder to swallow
Like razor blades
And deep inside
I hope it cuts the same.

Running Free

I'm finished with being held down
Being grasped by invisible chains
Bearing down on my potential and future
I've broken free from their iron grip
Begun to stretch my wings
I know in my heart that I remember how to fly
Someone taught me once
And I'm not afraid to do it again
I'm not afraid of falling
Because there's always someone to catch me
I will not let myself be held down
I shall not be captured again
Without my permission
I'm done living with fear in my heart
Done with the pain of thinking 'what-if'
It's time to take the plunge
To do what I know that I can
Time to break free
And run wildly through life
Without any notion of where I'm going
Because now, I'll never be alone