Shattered And Broken

I can't sleep
I feel so broken
Like everything is wrong
And it's all my fault
If I had been better
If I had been more
Perhaps I wouldn't have done anything
Maybe these tears would end
And I could sleep
But I feel so empty
I've never felt this way before
I feel like I've lost my heart
And without it
I don't want to live
I don't want to do anything
Perhaps if I lie in bed
Sleep may come
But I don't deserve it
I don't deserve anything right now
I am an idiot
A wicked person
Who deserves nothing
I don't want forgiveness
I want you back
I want this hole inside gone
And I'm not sure
If I've done too much
Or if you even want me any more
I don't know what to do
I'm sitting here waiting
You aren't even awake
You don't even have any idea
How much inside I'm breaking
How much I wish I could take it all back
How I just want to lie next to you
And hear you say that we're okay
But I won't get that
I don't deserve that
I don't deserve you
I don't deserve anything anymore
Apparently
I've done irreparable damage
And I can't fix it
I don't know how
I wish you were there
I want you to know
That you have my heart
You are my heart
And I don't want to lose you
Even though
I think I already have.
The tears won't stop
They won't stop for anything
I can't close my eyes
All I see is pain
All I see is the empty bed
That is next to me
And wonder if you will
Ever want to occupy it again with me
What can I do but sit here
And wait to hear from you
But I'm so broken
That I don't know
What to do right now
I'm so broken,
My heart is shattered into pieces
And it's all my fault.