Words

Some words should not have titles
They should remain unspoken
But whom am I to say
I breathe with my words
They are all I have...
Because no one seems to understand
Feelings which I can express:

Yes I am in pain
No it isn't you
I'm scared of what's to come
Scared of what is true
I don't know how to speak
Or tell you what I feel
I'm not sure I even know
I am at a loss for what is next
I'm scared of losing you

True Reflections

Never a smile
Always a curt
Straight mouthed sign
Of disappointed bitterness.
I hope you see the mirror
The glass you've so often
Tried to shatter with your coldness
Because it still reflects the truth
As it always will
That deep inside
You are hollow
You care for naught
And all things are clear
Because your own mask
Can't even hide
The empty soul
That resides within.

Mr. Amazing

Who knew that one could ride in

With roses in hand

And make my heart stop for a moment

To make the day a bit brighter

And make the fear pass away

Like a distant memory…

You truly are Mr. Amazing

The one who stole my heart

And keeps it safe next to your own

You’ll never see just who you are to me

Never know how much

I adore the moments when you’re near

And in so many ways

I can’t believe you’re mine

I don’t know what I would be

Without you in my life.

Shattered Bonds

If telling the truth
Means breaking bonds
That were meant to last a lifetime
Then the concept and trueness of love
Never existed in the first place.
If words can mean so little
Was there anything to salvage
From the start of this journey
Perhaps I was mistaken
In my idea of family
And what it should be truly
Perhaps I was naive enough
To think that sharing my feelings
Would actually have made it different
But deep inside I knew
There was no bond to save
No relationship worth rescuing
And thus we part ways
On two separate paths
When only one was intended.
I will not take back my words
Nor will I sacrifice my stance
Because for once
I know I'm right and just
And your footing is in the sand
And just so, it falters beneath your feet
Just as does your misconception
Of love and family
Two ideas that you construe
To suit your own needs
Rather than embracing them
For the beautiful things they really are.

Final Goodbye

I'm done with all the drama
The manipulation and crocodile tears
Finished with being put last
And never thought of as important.
I will not concede my stand
I'm through with trying to please
Because I finally know in every way
That it will never be enough for you.
What you've tried to ruin
I will salvage with my own bare hands
And what you've lost
Is more than you could ever fathom.
You made this choice, chose this path
And I will not stop you
I have turned my back to you
And if you want anything more
You can always ask
But I daresay that you will ever receive.
So bring yourself to this conclusion;
You have lost everything and more
I will have nothing more to do with you
I've written you off for now and always
It's time for you to know
The true meaning of the word goodbye.

(Untitled)

I couldn’t tell you if you asked

What I miss the most when you’re not here

It could be the smell of you after a long day

The softness of your hair beneath my hand

Or even the depth I see in your brown eyes

Each and every one of these things

I hold dear to me when you’re gone.

It’s the familiar that I miss the most

Of having you physically present

Just near enough to me so that I feel complete

Feel safe and like the world is right.

Each and every thing I fell in love with about you

I miss more and more each time you’re gone

This bond between us is deep and substantial

It’s almost surreal how wonderful it is

I can’t believe I’m so blessed to have you

And you can’t understand the depth my love for you

How much I miss you when you’re not here

And how much I truly do need you

As a part of my life.

Cherishing Your Memory

Time goes by and the leaves fall
Summer to autumn to winter
The frost begins and slowly conquers
A harvested feild before it's blanketed by snow.
There's something in the air that makes me
Miss you just a little bit more
Perhaps it's the thought of halloween bonfires
And trying to find one more trip
Out on the cooling waters of the lakes
But there's something there that makes me think
About all the time we spent together
And the moment that I will always miss.
I know you are there always, guiding me
And that I have never stopped loving you nor you me
But I think of what it would have been like
Had you not been stolen away from me so early
About seeing your grandchildren
And showing them the wonderful and kind
Gentle giant of a man that you were.
I keep you close to my heart in this season
The season of warm family and friends
Of parties and holiday celebrations
Because even though you aren't physically here
I know that you are always with me
Because you are a part of me
And I cherish your memory within my heart.
Know that you are loved and missed
More than words could ever express
And I know one thing more,
That in time, I will see you once again
And without wishing my life away
I look forward to that day.