Untitled

I'm going to miss you
More than I let on
Because I have to pretend
It's just another day
My world is complete
Though it's like living a lie
Because nothing is the same
Without you here with me.
It's just temporary
That I realize
But it feels so wrong
Going to an empty bed
To retire from an absent day...
But stoically I will face this time
Until it ends
Small sacrifices for great years ahead.

When you're gone

I always lock the door
When you're away
Every door
Including my heart
So as not to feel
As not to know
The emptiness inside
That's there when you go.

Hollow Woman

Hollow circles beneath your eyes
Show the lack of depth behind them
The sleepless nights spent alone
And fake smiles to hide the pain
You think no one sees your sneers of jealousy
The false bravado of superiority you put forth
Is just a mask to hide the emptiness
You think no one sees
You think no one knows
Because you've done it so long
That you want to beleive
The only one you're fooling is yourself
Your disguise falls like shattered glass around you
Reflecting like mirrors the faults
You so desperately try to hide
The empty moments that pervade your existence
And the envy you feel for those who do live
They tell the truth
Even though your lips refuse to speak it
Your lonely existence is your fault alone
Hold not another in consequence for your failure
We are the masters of our own destiny,
Clearly you have chosen yours.

Their Empty Words

They promised
Sunshine and rainbows
When we've learned
The true reality
Is bruises and scars
A deep pain that sees no sun
A burden of sorrow.

They said
Those around you
Will be your strength and life
But all they taught us
Is loss and heartache
Turning face in a moment
And collapsing hope
With harsh words that cut deep.

They fill your head
With illusions and dreams
Only to see them dashed
And broken by the bitter reality
We face every day
That steals out hope
And makes our spirits weak.

They told us all these things
We wanted to believe
But we knew better
We never promised anything
To one another
Only moving forward
With a bond called love
And holding each other up
On the strength within our hearts.

Before You Wake

Before you wake up in the morning
I want you to know that I didn't miss
The tenderness in your voice as you left
Or the thoughtfulness you showed
By just doing the little things
Like forks...
It's good for you to have a break
Some freedom from this undertaking
But I know you don't see it that way.
Know that I will always be okay
Always be safe and careful
Loving you from wherever I am
To wherever you are
And that that will never change.
I never knew how lost without you
I could ever be
But I do now
But it's okay -
I know where your heart calls home...

Words

Some words should not have titles
They should remain unspoken
But whom am I to say
I breathe with my words
They are all I have...
Because no one seems to understand
Feelings which I can express:

Yes I am in pain
No it isn't you
I'm scared of what's to come
Scared of what is true
I don't know how to speak
Or tell you what I feel
I'm not sure I even know
I am at a loss for what is next
I'm scared of losing you

True Reflections

Never a smile
Always a curt
Straight mouthed sign
Of disappointed bitterness.
I hope you see the mirror
The glass you've so often
Tried to shatter with your coldness
Because it still reflects the truth
As it always will
That deep inside
You are hollow
You care for naught
And all things are clear
Because your own mask
Can't even hide
The empty soul
That resides within.