Changed

Something in my face has changed

It’s subtle but it’s there

A new line or break

Overwhelming of contentment

Behind my eyes

Etched upon my forehead.

The actual switch

I don’t know when it occurred

Could it have been the moment

In which I took my vows

Or the one where I saw your face

--It doesn’t really matter

From that single moment

My life has changed for good.

Two Years to the Day

Two years to the day

When I first saw your smile

Light up your eyes

When you looked at me.

It will be two years to the day

From the time that I first

Looked to you standing there

Waiting to meet me face to face.

Two years to the day

When I first heard you sing

To something more

Than just a melodious tune

But allowing a window to your soul.

Two years to the day

When I first laughed at you

For not connecting one to two

But you joined along with me

Knowing how foolish it was.

And now, two years to the day

I will give you my hand

For all the world to see

And never remove it

Because now two years to the day

I know that I can never live without you.

Wishes

Should be feeling elated

Now I’m worried that about things

I cannot control

And feeling dismayed

At the possibilities that may unfold.

I wish I had the answers

Wish I knew the correct

Way in which to change things

But I have to see that I can’t

Control what actions are not my own.

I know the feeling will fade

And that all will come to pass

That is meant to be

I cannot worry about the ‘what ifs’

Or what even the ‘maybes’ hold

But it’s not fair

In so many ways

I wish things were different

But they aren’t

They aren’t and won’t be

In so many ways

But I can still wish

There’s nothing wrong with that

I wish…

But I’d only be fooling myself.

Moments in Our Amazing Journey

I knew when you asked

That I wanted more than anything

To be your wife

And I knew that I was ready

To marry you

From the moment that

Losing you was the worst thing

I ever thought could happen to me

I knew from the moment

I looked into your eyes

For the very first time,

That there was something

Extraordinary behind them.

Each day we get closer

To exchanging our vows

Becoming husband and wife

I remember the moments

That we have shared

And how they are just a glimpse

Of the beautiful life together

That is yet to come

It’s something I can’t wait for

From this moment to the next

I find myself dreaming

Of our future together

And the amazing journey

Yet to come.

Alone

I want to feel wanted

Perhaps it’s something inside

A deep unlocked yearning

Because I feel so vulnerable right now

So exposed and overly naked

Emotionally

I have a need to feel close

To be close

To want to feel like I’m not alone

Because right now

That’s how I feel

All alone…

Shoulder My Own

I don't want who I am
Or my lack of abilities
To rest upon anyones shoulders
But my own
Because they are mine to bear
And mine alone.
I will not be a burden
I cannot do that
It's not who I am
And who I shall never be
But I fear as though
I am becoming one
With each passing day
And it breaks my heart...
I should be able
To shoulder my own weight.

It Was Always There

If the feeling that I lost you wasn't enough
I can't remember a time when
I have ever felt as though the world was dead
And I didn't want to be a part of it.
Knowing the truth, for what it really is
Made all the more sense regardless of stupidity.
We are all who we are, imperfect and insecure
But when you have found that stronghold
You cling to it because it is yours alone
To hold on to forever...
I thought I lost my stronghold
I thought I lost my life and reason for breathing
But apparently it was there
Just picking up a few broken shards of my heart
Trying to put them back together again
And give them back to me.