I'm Ready

My soul is restless and eager to move forward

I’m ready for a new path and journey

One in which, I’m no longer alone and will never be again

I’m ready for the world to change in an instant

With one little test and statement

It’s one of those things that I can’t wait for

I’m ready to watch you grow as a man

Stronger, wiser and older – to grow this way together

To be more than who we are right now.

I’m ready to give myself up completely

I think I’ve held back up until now

Because I was uncertain of what all will change

But now, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt

I’ve never been more ready.

Things I Want To Say

There are words that need to be said
But I just can't seem to grasp them
Words of anger and resentment
Over everything you have done
Over what you didn't do or never will.

I don't understand if it if out of respect
That I can't tell you what's burried deep inside
Or just pure pity that I can't put you through it
But you've hurt me more than anything
Cut me deep because you don't care what matters to me.

I wish you could know love and peace
Rather than the bitterness and selfishness
That you surround yourself in
Because there is so much more to life
Then all you feel like you are a victim of.

You don't care about anyone or anything more than yourself
I wish I weren't blinded by the assumption
That I am supposed to love you regardless of anything
You've caused me so much pain
I wish that you weren't so self centered to see that.

You'll probably never know how much you've hurt me
I don't care to show you anyway, to give you that satisfaction
But one day when you look in the mirror
I hope that the monster and snake that you are
Stares back at you and reveals that you have no soul.

I'm free of your tyranny and lies, free of your grasp
I will not let you ruin what I have made for myself
Because what I have is beautiful and you should know,
No matter what, I will do whatever it takes to keep it
Even if it means taking you out of the picture entirely.

Yes, anger is a good word for it all
But I will not waste the energy on loathing you any longer.

Inadequate Romantic Words

Words cannot express the things I wish to tell you

Encompassing the love that I have for you within me

Would take pages that the world could not hold

And words would have to be created for my feelings

Words that only exist here inside my heart and soul

Should I tell you how I feel, I would bear all I am –

You already have all I am, know every part of me

To me you are my past, present and future

Always meant to be – the soul I have searched for since birth

These words of romance need not be meaningless

But they are only words as well

Each day, I will live a little better because of you

You make me better than who I am, you make me want to be better

Who you are is more than I can comprehend

And how you’ve changed and shaped my world

Is only the start of something so beautiful that I am at a loss

To describe the overwhelming emotion within me.

There are not words for all of this

I will be forever by your side, forever yours

I will always be there for whatever you need

To love, to hold, to stand with, to lean on

To be everything you need me to be

As you are everything to me –

Throwing Caution Aside

New adventures and horizons brewing in the distance

Excitement bubbling at the prospect of change

It is a new feeling for me – utter excitement of the unknown

Trying to keep a level head but so greatly anticipating

The new and unknown like a child waiting for her first snow.

I know I should stay level and steady, being patient and mindful

But something inside me cannot wait, will not hold back

It’s not an escape I see, but a new beginning

A new life with open windows and doors, no limits in sight

To have no reservations could make me reckless

Could make me less cautious than I should be

But didn’t someone wise once say ‘throw caution to the wind’?

My sails are set, I’m ready for wherever this will take me

As long the one I love is always by my side.

Move, Move

I see the pain you have
The pain you wear on your sleeve
It runs deeply -
Rooted in anger and bitterness
In self loathing, in fear of pain you've caused
But where you are is in the midst
Of confusion and masked with the moment
You're eyes are shielded with blinders
And henceforth the light once there
Is darkened -
But all is not lost, it is not gone.
You must find it within yourself
You must wake from this painful nightmare
Lest you slumber forever in a coffin
Pierced with emotional nails
Movement will be painful
But the end result will be relieving
You can move
You aren't as weak as you think
You aren't as weak as you've been told
Move, move - it's the only way
The only way to be free again

What It Is

Inexplicable moments of bliss
Cascading into fantasy and pleasure
Awaiting the moments of joy and laughter
Blooming in anothers eyes
And relishing in the moments of ease and comfort

Walking hand in hand and making it work
Taking each second as it comes
Wishing time would stand still
But knowing that an amazing path is ahead
Contemplating each milestone like a prize

Finding a peace and sincerity of soul
That only makes you complete
Bringing each time sweeter than the last
One could go on forever on how it is
But no one can explain the feeling for you.

Clearly

Clearly I don't know what I want
Clearly I'm in the wrong place
I'm wrong and that's all there is
What's wrong with me, I don't know
It's happening and maybe it's just me
The road is long and hard
But I'm not sure I have the will to continue

Clearly something's not right
Clearly it's just me, no one else
I guess I have to watch my steps
Watch my words and make some changes
More than so, I must make sure
That I'm okay on the inside
I'll internalize it all, to make sure
There's no pain for anyone else

Clearly there is nothing I can do
Clearly I'm just wrong
I can't find a way around this right now
But I will once I find the right footing
I have to or else I won't have anything
I'm not the best I can be
I need to do better
I need to be better than I am