Standing Up Straight

I can't stand up straight
Even if I wanted to
I wanted to run
But the place I needed wasn't there
I've been thinking, missing, re-living
Moments that I can't forget
Moments that I've needed
Moments that should have been.
There are times when I've needed you
And you can't be there
Because you aren't here.
I need that push
That little extra word
You always knew.
I get scared sometimes
That I will forget your voice
Forget all that I am,
All that you told me I once was.
I don't know how to stop
I know that I do have to
Because it's tearing me apart
I need to be laid bare
Letting cool water flow over my soul
And wash away all the pain and blemishes
But I don't know how
I can't remember any more
I need a guiding hand
Need a firm footing to hold to
It's always been myself
That's what you used to say
But I don't trust myself anymore
I need to stand,
But I'm unable to.
Maybe standing somewhat
Is just as important as
Standing up straight.