Feelings

Race, race, race

No end in sight

Over analyzing

Over thinking

Confused—

Don’t know what

To feel, to say

To be

I just am.

Lost in a sea

Of thought

Of time

Of longing

Regret – no

Dismay – yes

Something is broken

I just don’t know

What it is

The hands on the clock

The beat of a heart?

No – none of these

But what?

I question

I find no answers

And I yearn for them

I want them

Though I wait

Nothing seems to come

I suppose a longer time

Must have to pass

Before I understand

But what must I

Undergo in this time?

Can my heart take it?

Yes, my heart is strong

My love even more

I just feel changes

And I know it’s

Just a valley

But right now

It seems so deep

Locked in winter

Locked in sleep.

What pains me most

Is the space between

The gap that lingers

On this long road

I just don’t understand

I don’t want

To be second

Though I don’t always

Need to be first

Why this conundrum?

Why these thoughts?

I never second guess

Nor do I now –

But I wonder

Why the space

That seems to linger?

I feel an absence

I don’t know

As to why

But it lingers

Nonetheless

In those few gentle moments

It doesn’t matter much

But in others

It feels so deep.

Maybe I feel too much

Maybe I am wrong

As so often

I seem to find myself,

But perhaps,

No – wrong

Waiting is the answer

Waiting is the key

I must wait

What else can I do?

So steadfast my heart

Beat gently

Beat slowly

Beat deeply

Hold to the precious

Few moments

And live through the space

Keep busy

Beep quiet

Hold true to your course

You know where it leads

And this

Among all things

Shall pass –